I HATE indoor plumbing!

Son-in-Law #4 is a plumber...and I don't hate him! But indoor plumbing? Oh please! Let me make my case...last night, just before bedtime (typical...water problems on a Sunday!) I saw that there was water on the floor all around the...ummm...."water closet". The little worry machine in my brain goes into over-drive and I know that we'll have to rip the toilet off and replace the wax gasket PLUS redo the entire flange, floor and sewer line!...oh, and since the toilet is off of the flange, it will tip over and break into a thousand pieces and rip the flooring so we'll have to replace everything! I know, I know...part (OK, most!) of this panic attack is caused by my pathetic ability to expand a minor problem into a major one. But this isn't the first time that I've made my "I HATE indoor plumbing" statement! Think of it...water is tricky! If you've got a hole in the sheetrock...it's right there! You know where to fix it. But water?! Why water makes its little sneaky leaks and then rolls and dribbles to various destinations and who knows where that leak originates! That's why it should remain AWAY from the house...leak all you want outside, but not in my bathroom...or my ceiling...or inside my cupboard! I wouldn't mind the midnight jaunt to the outhouse too much...I'd be sure to keep a thick coat and snowshoes next to the back door for winter-time "john" trips. I might not be a big fan of hauling water into the house for laundry and bath time...but think about how soundly you'd sleep at night if you knew you would never, ever, ever hear a drip in the middle of the night again! And if you've gotta fix the outdoor plumbing? Why you just dig a new hole and slide the outhouse over...and I KNOW how to dig a hole. The indoor plumbing know-how? Not so much...I feel incompetent, anxious and poor when I think about it...that could explain my extreme emotion over piping!