land a'mighty...them's seeds from hay-ell!

I have a few soapboxes that I climb up on periodically. Being called "the little woman" will make my blood boil. I've been known to gesticulate wildly at people who drive across and down the wrong way in parking lots. (follow the arrows...the parking spot lines are slanted FOR A REASON!) And don't even get me started about the mystery dog that leaves his little "blessings" on my back lawn! But come May...I stand on the same, weed-covered soapbox every year...the soapbox that screams "Can't we outlaw Chinese Elm trees?" I am totally convinced that these trees (ulmus parvifolia...which, I'm pretty sure is Latin for "tree of purgatory") didn't spring from China at all...but from the very bowels of the netherworld! Yes...I know I live in a desert where trees, originally, were few and far between. Yes...I know that trees are lovely and provide shade, oxygen and places for birds to roost. Why...I had a Golden Eagle sitting in a Chinese Elm tree in my backyard just last week! But come May...these evil trees with roots directly to Satan start spreading their seeds all over...and I mean ALL OVER! There have been times when it looks like it's snowing outside because the wind is blowing so many seeds around! And they get everywhere!...and take root! I seriously think that if the wind blew hard enough, these nefarious little packets from he** would grab hold and take root on the moon! Lack of oxygen wouldn't stop 'em! So today I decided to clean these wicked little bundles of evil off my driveway, my porch, my patio, my car. I got out my trusty leaf blower and began the task at hand, when I suddenly realized just how treacherous these things really are! You see...they are so paper-thin and light, that when I blow them off the driveway...they simply float up into the air and ....land right back where they started! If I didn't hate them so much...I'd think there was a lesson in tenacity in there somewhere!