All my troubles are round not gibbous

I blame everything on the full moon. Can't sleep at night? It's because the full moon's light is shining through my windows. Feeling snippy? Why, the full moon raises already dangerously high hormone levels and makes you slightly crazy...everyone knows that. Head aching? It's because of the gravitational pull of the full moon causing all of the water in your head (we're 78% liquid don't ya know?!) to one side of your brain. Childhood psychoses acting up? Yes, it's that darn full moon again...making you "pixielated" (a story that my mother told me long ago and still sends shivers up my spine but was always sweet and lovely to her!-she finds it "charming" to sleep in moonlight! Yikes!) I'm practically sure that full moons cause dogs to howl, pimples to erupt, TV programs to be cancelled and cheese to get moldy! If something isn't working right in life...do what I do...blame it on the full moon...no matter what phase it's in!